Thursday, March 17, 2011

Be Light

Life is a bit of a see-saw ( not to mention typing on a MacBook is proving to be troublesome ); you feel heavy at this moment, as opposed to light - as opposed to being light. You want to feel light. You want to just be to the point of unbearability, which you've had but always at the most unexpected moments.

Last night you had all kinds of things you wanted to discuss. You wanted to talk about how you were surrounded by so many successful members of the bourgeoisie, the class you come from, and yet you yourself are proletariat; or more accurately, you are ( psuedo ) intellectualist/proletariat. All your life you have considered yourself to be on the philosophical spectrum that opposed the ideas of Marx and similar thinkers, yet you have more in common with him psychologically than you do with the market entrepreneurs that you enshrine as the heroes of any prosperous and liberated society. ( there's sand in your scalp, by the way )

Damn, you should have done this earlier. You're fatigued, you haven't fully recovered from jet lag, you feel you should go to bed, and you can't keep your thoughts on a continuous train so that this post can make actual sense. It's okay. Say what you can.

Say why you want to feel light again: You want to feel light because the weight of concerning yourself over the thoughts of others is trying to crush you. It's ridiculous to be concerned about things you have no direct control over, at least to be concerned about them in the manner in which you've been finding yourself concerned over them; that's why you shouldn't worry about other people's thoughts. Certainly there are those you care about, those you are fond of, whose thoughts and feelings you wish to affect in a positive manner, to engender in them feelings towards you that reflect that which you harbor towards them, but ultimately you cannot control whether they feel such or not. Ultimately, you can only control what you think and what you feel.

Remember that, and you will find yourself feeling light more often.

PS: Keep learning to fly, you're getting better at it.